Hello there. My name is Tony Kinnard, and I have high-functioning autism as well as a form of bipolar disorder. I never revealed those facts about myself before, but I never felt they were important things about me, just what I do and who I know. Normally I don’t use this website for much more than updates regarding art and my portfolio, but I have had some setbacks recently, much of it much too personal to post even here, and I’ve come up with a theory about everything. Keep in mind: I have repeated this to some of my family and friends (maybe even too much), but these are ideas that are important to me right now. I might be right, I might be wrong, but I need anyone who is knowledgeable and is interested to listen and read this post at least. Here is how best I can explain these ideas.
Everything in our world is represented by five senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. Everyone knows at least that. However, how our world is represented to us as humans really comes down to both logic, such as math, science, and engineering, as well as creative efforts much like what I’ve done my whole life. My resume, which I always try to keep up to date on here, lists a number of different places I’ve worked, but they were always with others. I’ve made a lot of connections in just 10 years alone, but one thing most of these connections had in common: 2016 was a miserable year, and I see 2017 having some potential to bring something better. Lately, I have tried music on the side, just for my own form of therapy while living a life that, while I’ve done a lot of good things in it, has made me miserable. Basic music theory, which I was taught by my friend Drake, opened me up to a lot of things, and I want to explain this whole thing with the means I know: five shapes, the first three numbers, and some devices we all know.
The five basic shapes that we can all recognize are a triangle, four-sided shape (trapezoid, square, rectangle, parallelogram, diamond, etc), circle, an X, and a Bell Curve.
Right now, our corporate, government, and educational structure is based only on the triangle, with one person at the top of everything. This is a bad system all around, because triangles have that point, like a spike, that hurts people unnecessarily. Pyramids in Egypt are based on that structure, and the pyramids are monuments to long-dead pharaohs, god kings, whom while they were seen as very important in their day, are nothing more than dried husk mummies now. In addition to that, pyramids were built using slave labor, many of whom died while making them. Triangles also form doorstops on their own, and I will explain more about doors later in this post.
Now, most people are a four-sided shape of some kind. We may be tall, short, politically lean like a parallelogram in one direction or another, but people none the less. Four-sided shapes also have points, but they are less likely to hurt you. A diamond shape, however, is two triangles put together, one showing the top, and the other the bottom, and only a high amount of heat and pressure can make a diamond, metaphorically and physically with real diamonds in the world.
A circle has no sides, it can represent both the number zero, or the world. It is a shape that helps creatively in some fashion. Going back to the number zero, for instance: zero equals nothing, but put a zero at the end of just the number one equals 10, and when you add more, you get larger numbers (100, 1000, 10,000, and so on).
An X, while technically a letter in our alphabet, also represents crossing out ideas and people. In short, X equals death, period.
Finally, a Bell Curve can show two very different, yet similar, ideas that never meet or compromise, but the curve can show that compromise between those ideas. For example, left and right wing ideas. At their extremes, they are Communism and Fascism, very bad systems that have killed a lot of people, and do not work, but there is a middle, plus we can lean one way or the other. Extremism is the death of everything, which is what I am so sick of seeing in this world all the time.
All of these simple shapes can be combined to create more complicated shapes, objects, and even art. As a person who has been primarily a cartoonist, I have tried to represent the basic representations of everyday objects all my life An arrow is a four-sided shape (sometimes a curved one) and a triangle, to “point” in the right direction. A pentagon is a wider four-sided shape and a triangle, and it represents defense or a house/home (or defense of said home). A cylinder is a four-sided shape (a rectangle usually) and a circle, often used as a pipe, door hinge, or even a cup. A cone is a triangle and circle, which can be used for a number of things (snow cone snack, spike, etc.), and so on and so forth. The most important complex object that can explain something about myself is a door.
A door is a more complicated object than people realize. We all have “rooms” to ourselves in our own minds, often with walls to “wall off” parts of ourselves. A door can let others into our “rooms”, but also let ourselves out of our “rooms”. Lately, we put too many “doorstops” (triangles) in front of these doors, isolating us from the rest of the world. A door is usually represented with these basic shapes (although real doors will look different): A four-sided shape, a circle for the knob, and two or three cylinders for the hinges. Without the knob, the creative way to express ourselves, the door swings too wildly or not at all, and without the hinges, the door is on the floor and everything flows in and out without stopping. In other words, chaos. I myself was without my hinges recently, and it lead to some pretty terrible things in my life, but by slowly putting the door back up and putting the hinges back on, I can organize myself much better to even type out these ideas on my own website, and trying to not sound insane in the process, which is difficult, but not impossible.
The first three numbers (1, 2, and 3) are used in music all the time. A basic beat involves three numbers, and a basic chord involves three notes played together. This is why “Three chords and the truth” is a popular expression, not just in punk, but in folk and even blues. Reggae and other genres around the world also involve a very simple structure like this, but this goes beyond music. Music has an alphabet, much like other language. I do not know very many other languages, but I try to learn other words and expressions around the world for this very reason. English alone is not the same from country to country. For example, British English has very different expressions and colloquialisms than American English (Example: we call a big trailer truck in the United States a Semi, whereas in England, it’s called a Lorry). Alphabets and words are abstract thoughts, but they are based on a numerical system. Plus, while I do not understand much about Math, Science, and Engineering, I do understand and am a cheerleader for when it is done right. Engineering, for the record, can even include the mechanics that work on our houses and transportation, like many of my brothers do.
All of these ideas are complicated, I realize, but I’ve been trying to simplify them for many, many years just in my own head. The objects shown in the image above may help do so not just for me and other fellow adults, but children as well.
This is an Nintendo 64 controller, which looks complicated even today, but there is one element on it that anyone can understand: on the middle prong is a button called the “Z Trigger”. In many games that were first person shooter games like Goldeneye 007, Perfect Dark, the Turok games, and so forth, this button was used to fire the weapon. It is a “Central Trigger”, which is what I experienced in my own life lately that lead me down an extremely dark path. It also was one of the earliest video game controllers to use an analog joystick for 3D movement, much like our own movement in our own world.
This is a Sega Dreamcast controller. Much like the N64 controller, it too has that analog stick. The elements here worth noting are that the primary “Memory” source is plugged in here, plus it is an early controller that used left and right “triggers” instead of buttons (the Sega Saturn 3D pad used them earlier, but this controller is a more recognizable one). Also, take note of the button scheme on the right. A, B, X, Y. The first two letters of the alphabet, and the penultimate letters as well. No Z here.
This is a Playstation 4 Dualshock. This controller is an extremely advanced video game controller, with touch capabilities, as well as a speaker, but it is based on the original Playstation controller from 1995, itself based on the Super Nintendo controller. Playstation controllers always used shapes instead of letters for their button scheme. Triangle, Square, Circle, and X. The triangle is always at the top, the Square and Circle are in similar positions, and the X is at the bottom. In Japanese games such as my version of PuyoPuyo Tetris, Circle confirms menu choices and X backs out, whereas in the US and maybe other areas of the world, it is the other way around. The positions of these shapes are like this for a reason, reasons I already explained above. Finally, while this isn’t the only controller that does so, take note of the second analog stick. In most games, the first one is for 3D movement, while the second is for movement of the camera around either the character or from a first person perspective. While there are triggers for left and right, there are also buttons for left and right as well.
This is a “smart” phone, though a tablet can also be used here. Unlike the controllers shown above, there are very few tactile buttons on here. Everything, including the keyboard, is based on touch screen technology, which is extremely limiting, to the point that even the keyboard can be swiped. These devices can be used in great ways, but also terrible ones at the same time, plus many people do not realize how much data is transferred to and from these devices every single second. The batteries drain really fast as a result. There have been so many times I have been without any phone at all because the battery died because of this. Like I said, there are great things that can be done with these (a tablet has been used as my portfolio out in the world, and I only got a “smart”phone in the first place because of Square, a cash register for my products at shows), but these devices have dumbed people down considerably, to the point that “microtransactions” and “geotracking” for games are the norm.
Finally, this is a speaker. I’m using a Bluetooth speaker as an example, but any speaker can work here. A speaker is used to amplify sound, much like a bell (going back to the Bell Curve). It may not look like much, but this is as powerful, if not more so, than any of the other devices I have mentioned so far for that one reason alone. It is our voice, to represent our ideas, and without a voice or outlet, we are nothing. An X. We die.
I realize this is a lengthy post, the lengthiest I have probably ever made on this site, and these are things I normally don’t talk about, but they are just as important and I want some of these ideas spread. How can they spread even further? Just mention these to other people you know out there. I have felt isolated with these thoughts for far too long, and I hate repeating them over and over again. If there are any legitimate inquiries about this subject you want me to go further into, feel free to contact me at my email address (firstname.lastname@example.org). I do not know if any of this is right or wrong, but this is worth a real discussion, and this is my own website I pay for where I can discuss this stuff. To anyone who actually read this whole post, and I mean REALLY read this whole post, thank you for the time. In the meantime, to help support my efforts at least, check out the album of music I compiled together called “Art Rock Asteroids” at my Bandcamp page:
Support me, so I can help support some positive change, even through the darkness of this world. I am Tony Kinnard, and I will be back to doing what I do best: traveling, spreading creative ideas and efforts, and helping people even in just my own small way. Again, thank you for your time.
EDIT (5/8/2017): it has come to my attention that the Bell Curve, in Mathematics at least, has an infinite line at each end. While that is true, for simplicity’s sake I’m using a symbol similar to an Omega. Anyway, be sure to check out Part 2 that I posted recently.